Why don't I want to use Virgin Media hub 3

So if you've been following my rants here, the Virgin Media community forum, or on Twitter you'll know I've been having nothing but problems trying to get their shitty Hub3 working in modem mode properly with my router(s).

As far as I know at least some of the following features I want are missing from hub3 features....

• Configure combination of static (MAC address x should always have IP y) and dynamic (DHCP) addresses 
• Guest network, isolated from my own LAN
• Router VPN for all network devices
• File sharing via USB - private cloud
• DMZ (I think the hub3 does offer this, at least to some degree)
• Firewall configuring ports rather than just on or off (lloks like there may be port forwarding)
• Prioritise certain traffic from my LAN to web
• Mu-MIMO
• Decent WiFi range - Hub3 is shockingly bad

As I think of more stuff I'll try to update here.